So, from my previous post, all know how "lovely" my life is at the moment. I spent a great deal of "deep" conversation with my daughter on the way to school. I promised myself when I left her Dad, that there would be no more arguing, no drama. She hates it, and I hate it although, one couldn't tell that from looking at me.
We had a nice long conversation about "Independence". What it was and why it wasn't a bad thing. I told a child of why this man I let come into our lives was leaving. I told her expenses and amounts of money I paid. I asked her blatant questions like"Who works?, Who cleans? Who goes to school?" And just for shits and giggles... "Who do you see do all of this, and what does he do?" She in all her 12 year old glory had the same answers. She saw it. She was upset. I told her of her namesake. Her Great Grandmother and how she was beaten and how she survived on her own. She was appalled. I told her how she would get her own car, and have money in the bank, and not suffer or wonder how to pay her bills. Because Mom taught her how to be in dependant. I told her how I was told that was bad. And I told her how it wasn't. I told her it was her and I now (again). I told her how I wasn't doing this again. How, this is US and how it will be. And her words of wisdom was... "I knew something was wrong with him anyways."
I don't know when I'll be back on on a regular basis, as my laptop and only computer at home is leaving today. After all, I didn't buy it, it was a gift. Although, I have contributed and lost thousands, It's not an argument I wish to ensue, and I will get another one. It's better that I do, than keep the other stuff with it.
I have a house, and all furnishings with it. I have a car, and I have my baby. I need nothing more. I will update when I can, and am sad to only do this "at school" since this is totally my venting place. But... What can you do. Live and learn. AND I HAVE LEARNED!
Signing off for now...
So it's almost Halloween again!
1 year ago