Sunday, November 22, 2009

Where have I been???

Here's a BIG peek, among other things. I will return this week!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Happy Birthday Ashlee!!!!

To my baby girl who is NOT a baby anymore... Happy Birthday Baby!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Friday Fragments!!!

Come join in the fun with Mrs. 444.... Check her out! By clicking the Friday Fragment's button and join in on the fun!
Friday Fragments?

Friday Fragments are bits and pieces of your week that are usually brief; too short for a stand-alone post, but too good to discard. Collect humorous observations, "Heard" items, and other small gems and put them together in a Friday Fragments post.

***** Driving Miss Ash to school in the 45 mph zone doing 50 I get passed by 3 cars, all of which are High school students. The last one to pass me actually caused the oncoming traffic to stop so that he did not cause a head-on collision. My speeding is not the point here LOL. (AND I was passed by 3 cars) And we will ignore the inner rage i felt compelled to follow the 16 year old to school and beat up in front of his friends, this topped off by my next stop being the dreaded "drop-off loop" THIS my friends.... started by morning.

***** As my daughter was cleaning out her backpack this week, I noted her pencil bag contained about 15 green markers. yes...ONLY green. Her favorite color. She borrowed them apparently. Yeah. After learning she "borrowed" them from the teacher... we have a FUN week ahead and Spring break return of grounding and lessons... JOY. AND 15 GREEN MARKERS? Am I the only one who is just questioning this choice besides the joy of parenting a child on the lessons of taking things? OY VEY!

***** The economy sucks. Everyone's losing their homes, jobs etc etc. The boyfriend suggests we should start buying properties and selling them. Ummmm....

***** NEIGHBOR UPDATE We now have the barking dog... a new chihuahua and the new chihuahua's SISTER! (Oh and the vinegar in candles worked, hehehehe, my floating votives have been floating for a week now)

***** Yeah, I'm too nice. Let me start off saying this first but yeah... I have a cell phone plan and nicely enough since they have years of contracts, my EX, my daughter's Dad has one on my plan still, Since my bill jumped 200 bucks, I obviousally inquired WHY, and was notified of the international calls to NIGERIA from his number. Upon inquiring... He "met" a girl on "Myspace" whom he called. BUT said was local. I guess the 14-17 digit number didn't tip him off. His "barely speaking English, 12 minute, 220 dollar conversation he paid me for" which gave me the HUGE chance for ... I got to say... "I hope you enjoyed", really, and I mean REALLY made my day. Any other questions as to why I am divorced from this man?

Saturday, April 11, 2009

My Posing Kid!

Ashlee cannot take a picture without posing. Future model? Or goofball? You decide. I was just cleaning and organizing pictures on my computer, from vacations, random pictures etc, and noted her active shots and thought I'd share. LOL.

Friday, April 10, 2009

An Award!

Wow! I got my first award! Thank you to Midtown Girl! If you haven't checked her out... DO SO! It's like SITC LIVE! She is SO my daily dose of funny! Although I often feel badly for her awful dates... I can't help but laugh, but hey she's got sass to back her up when the idiots come a knockin! Just go see her!

Here's my award! Isn't it Pretty?

The Rules are... To list 7 things that I Love/Make me Happy! So Here Goes....

1. My Daughter. Obviously. Although I'd love to strangle her attitude filled, smart mouthed, annoying little butt more often than not, she is my world.

2. Sunshine. I just love sunshine. Sitting outside, or inside, sunshine is the best. How can you not smile when the sun lights up everything in it's path?

3. Really good friends. You know the type. When your having a bad day, and you get a phone call or email with one of those even annoying forwards that just tells you your special, and your like "I SO needed that today!". OR when you answer your phone and the other person says.."OK, What's wrong?", they just KNOW. That's the kind I'm talking about.

4. BOOKS! I could read ALL day. I love nothing more than a book.

5. Naps! For one because I don't take as many as I'd love to. AND it is my favorite time to take them. On a bed...With the windows open, breeze coming in, sun shining... HEAVEN.

6. Babies. No, I don't want anymore. But, I enjoy them. Their smell. Their laughs, their looks, their everything. (As long as their yours LOL)

7. Writing. It is such a release for me. Whether I'm writing for personal release or for a book, I enjoy EVERY.LITTLE.BIT.OF.IT.

OKAY! Pass it on... I give this lovely Award to.... Some of the new blogs I'm following....
Soccer Mom Says

Soulfully Blonde

Girl In The Glasses!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Friday Fragments!!!

Come join in the fun with Mrs. 444.... Check her out! By clicking the Friday Fragment's button and join in on the fun!
Friday Fragments?

Friday Fragments are bits and pieces of your week that are usually brief; too short for a stand-alone post, but too good to discard. Collect humorous observations, "Heard" items, and other small gems and put them together in a Friday Fragments post.

***** Dear Neighbor, Your bark all freakin' day Collie, which you apparently do not hear... is great! The new chihuahua I saw today you got makes me OH so happy! I just want to say Thank You. I also wish to note that since it's Spring break, and the children are out of school for these next two weeks, that I do believe that your child is definatley the next "American Idol!" Screaming... and I mean SCREAMING Eminem lyrics at 8 am this morning in total tone deafness gives a total shoe-in. And I do say... Eminem is the TOP choice of lyrics for all 7 year olds! It goes well with the Ghost Buster sound track that you play when you clean your house. (YES, that's right. The Ghost Busters.) Who you gonna call? Shoot me NOW!

***** Daughter of mine..... The Easter Bunny quit a few years ago. You WILL still receive a basket. this DOES NOT mean that while shopping tonight that I will pick out your things while you are WITH me so that you will see them now. GEEZ.

***** My 10 year old cat has decided that jumping on the table is OK. He has decided that drinking the water out of my floating candle votives is acceptable. The tablesppon of vinegar I am adding tonight to each one will surely surprise his tastebuds tonight. I'm assuming....

*****Why is it that I am the ONLY ONE in the house who can not turn on the TV? All I wished to do was see the weather. Apparently I needed to change it to 91. Push Audio, Push 3, channel up....etc. etc. Don't ON just work? UGH!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Sunny Day!

Just a Sunny Day for Bubbles!!!! And SMILES!!!! AND Sweet Daughters and neices!!!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Friday Fragments!!!!

I decided to join in the fun of Friday Fragments over Mrs. 444's Place. Check her out! By clicking the Friday Fragment's button and join in on the fun!
Friday Fragments?

Friday Fragments are bits and pieces of your week that are usually brief; too short for a stand-alone post, but too good to discard. Collect humorous observations, "Heard" items, and other small gems and put them together in a Friday Fragments post.

***** 60 and 70 degree weather is awesome! Spring break starts today for my kiddo! Monday we're getting snow. Does anyone else find this not so funny?

***** Somewheres in the golden rule book where a bird MUST poop on your car right after you wash it must be followed up by your cat MUST puke on the floor soon after you vaccume.

***** Every day I drop my Middle Schooler off at the circle drive way of the parent drop off of the school. It's a circle. You drive around. The child gets out. This is simple. Why do parents insist on not waiting and try to drive around you to get in front of you to attain the front of the circle? I am often compelled to suggest a circle drop off mediator at the next PTA meeting...seriously.

***** Am I the only one who can't stand the "Do-IT-Yourself" Scan at the grocery Stores? I feel like an idiot arguing with a machine saying "I DID put it in the bag!"

***** I really hate half-days of school. I feel like I just dropped her off and now I have to pick her up soon. Couldn't I just have slept in?

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Go do some Fishful Thinking....

The wonderful people at Pepperidge Farms (The Goldfish People!) have came up with a WONDERFUL idea to inspire and help create positive thinking in children. Go check out their new program here to find activities, quizes, products and much more for ways to inspire your children! Ashlee is easily frusterated. Given her social issues and attention span (non- existance!) we have MANY talks of how to be a kind, curteous person, and how to try to make and keep friendships. Since the day Ashlee was born, I never "labled" her as being special or having a disability. There was never anything that I thought she couldn't do, and never once did I let anyone tell me that she couldn't or try and give her "special circumstances" to attain anything. I think that alone makes Ashlee who she is today. The strong willed, little diva that if you ask will tell you that she is the most beautiful girl in the world. Gee.. Don't you agree? LOL. Fishful Thinking

One of my favorite bloggies is lucky enough to be a faculty member of this wonderful program. She is currently doing a give-a-way which includes lots of "fishy swag" up for grabs. Go check her out! You won't be dissapointed! The Daily Blonde

Friday, March 20, 2009

Where Did My Mind Go?

It's Friday. It's the first day of Spring. It's 19 degrees. Not 60 or 70 like it has been. Why? IS. THAT. I made coffee. Got to sleep in. YAY. Since it's records day or something and Ash doesn't have school. I'm sitting here wondering one, if I can keep coffee down. (More on that in a bit) and two, Where is my mind? I am good busy. I enjoy busy. WHY can't I remember anything anymore. Here I am writing a "list" of what I need to do today. And... I keep adding the "Oh yeah.. I have that too's... I never used to make lists. There is nothing fun on my list either. ....Sigh.... I haven't posted much because I have been sick. It kind of felt bladder infection-like but with stomach issues. I can't eat anything. Then I had to pee ALL the time, so I sucked it up and went to the doctor. Yep, had a bladder infection. The doctor made sure to tell me my "other issues" were not related and to call if not better before my next weeks appointment. Well... I called, and now I'm going for an ultrasound of my gall bladder. (What is with my bladders?) I did some research on gall bladders and yeah... Seems I've had gall bladder symptoms for awhile and I just thought I was getting old or something, who knew? Now they're talking ultrasounds and possible surgery huh? Yeah, THAT'S what I need. Then I have a wisdom tooth that's came in without ANY wisdom mind you, whose leaving today at 2:00. Yeah, Buh-bye. FUN-STUFF! On to the bank which my other (Don't get me into what a STUPID bank school appoints to handle my loans has who deposited a refund to my account a month ago which I in return wrote a check into my other account to take said refund out and then spent on bills and they decided I DIDN'T get that refund so TOOK BACK the deposit therefore listed the check as UNCLEARED causing my MAIN account at my other bank to bounce 700 dollars STUPID) I have to talk to. Yeah... And What are they going to do? Umm Me... They took it back? Umm I don't have 700 dollars? That was a month ago? YOU cleared it? Do you make payments? HaHa! Then I get to go to Walgreen's whom I paid out-of-pocket Ashlee's medicine costs that insurance said I didn't have coverage for when I did in Feb, who Say's they don't reimburse after 7 days, and whose insurance says it's the pharmacy who has to bill, and I have to go ARGUE with them again. SOMEONE will pay me back the 160.00 damn it. Then I get to call Chicago who called my EX (WHY?) to notify that Ashlee's appointment Thursday was cancelled cause the Doctor's office was closed that day. (THEY made that appointment don't they know that?) And re-schedule. Like I live in MI and Chicago appointments are EASY to just up and go to and change around. Then I get to take Ashlee to the library to research Chile for a report due the 30Th. (Hey I still have 10 days, I'm not procrastinating THAT much). SO That is MY fun time! Besides the fact that I will maybe having surgery. Have no clue how I will manage THAT and rent etc and a bad account now. AND everything else. Oh well, stress is nice eh?
On a second(Or 100Th note... I lost count...) Ashlee had her conference which I didn't go to but Dad did, she is getting mostly C's, but they wanted to reassure me that this was with her working more independently. (This after them telling me a bunch of B's last week?) and her Dad asking me to meet him at 4:30 instead of 4:45 to discuss her conference in which he showed up at 4:40. (Why do I listen?) In which he explained the grades and her upcoming IEP like I didn't know, then asks if I had any questions or concerns for him? WTF? Umm No. WHO IS THIS IDIOT? Does he really think I have NO CLUE what is going on. Or when he told me the teacher said she told you about the IEP and the records thing and who you could talk to, that I was just blowing smoke when I told the moron "I said I handled it." Send the man to ONE conference now he's Super Dad......Sigh.... Go ahead Hotstuff wear your cape today LOL!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Giveaways in the form of alcohol...Who could ask for more?

Miss Snow White over at is giving away an awesome giveaway of alcohol! And from my hometown no less! No tagging here, participate if you wish! Here's the deal... List 7 random facts about yourself. That's it! Oh, and of course link back to Miss Snow. Oh and check out her blog, she's an awesome hilarious teacher who has a load of stories to tell! So check her out! Now here's my useless facts....

1. I have a serious cleaning problem. I clean when I'm pissed off, when I'm stressed, and when I'm happy as well. Needless to say I have a clean house.

2. I read a lot. On average about 3 books a week. Besides that I read blogs, magazines, and anything else. Not as much homework as I should though.

3. I turn up the radio really loud and sing to it just as loud driving down the dirt roads when I'm alone. Usually In the mornings on my way home from dropping Ash off at school. This is my "ME" time to yell and scream!

4. I really am not happy with how my life is going at the moment and am trying to figure it out!

5. I'm a bit obsessed with feeding birds. It started out as a feeder now I have 4 for specific breeds. Sigh.

6. I wish all those "things happen for a reason" would reason up all ready!

7. I wish I would have finished college earlier in life.

Okay! Your turn! Thanks Snow! And as you see I need a little alcohol in my life! And the free the better! LOL

Damn CIA Shows

So, Since these shows have been on air... I have came to the conclusion that I could never get away with killing my ex-husband. NOT that I was thinking about ever attempting to. No, Never Not me. Some people make you think of it however. Sometimes, I wonder why I wasn't blessed with those evil genes that do awful things to people and then have no remorse about it afterwards. BUT I do not have those genes.

I've had HUGE issues with Ash's school. Ashlee has severe ADHD. Ashlee was born missing a part of her brain, requires medication to attain attention, is delayed in maturity, doesn't understand social cues, and is the most disorganized child on this planet. She also is highly intelligent, very tiny, and in mainstream classes with an IEP for extra guidance. She requires reminders, and some extra help. (Do you have your homework, Can you carry your books? She's 4 foot and 45 pounds at 12.). I have received a truancy letter. My straight A student gets C's now. All since going to Jr. High. Now I moved in January. Same district. I'm not getting mail. No report card etc. I filled out the "change of address form". Apparently my checkbook, drivers license, insurance state papers etc, is NOT enough for the school to change the address. They need a lease copy, which I don't have which my pervert landlord has in Florida which I'm waiting for to fax over to said school. Until then they will NOT give me Ashlee's report card etc.
I've went to the counselor's office to discuss the truancy letter since I drop the kid off daily. (Where is she right?) and they had her marked absent on snow days too? WTF. And days she was there. (There's a daily agenda the teacher and I sign. So that was handled. Well... I need a bus to pick Ashlee up. My work schedule changed to 6am. I have someone to put her on a bus but not drive her. I can't have a bus without a address. Hence, I am off work now until the school gets a clue. UGH. Besides all this, Ash's agenda says 3 stamps... 'Homework not turned in". Well... They got a nice letter from Mom. About their lack of ability, IEP following, joke of a school, policies, and the likes. Needless to say I was met at pick up time with ALL teacher's with HUGE apologies and grades. Still no addy change though.
Mind you, during this drama, I informed her dad of this whose comment was .... None. Or "what do you want me to do?" Okay. So, at my last straw I said I'm yanking her out, she will NOT go here anymore. After a HUGE argument between us he gets an attitude. I get a call which says...

"I will not let you decide our child's education. Our child will not be educated by you as you are not capable of doing that. I will take you to court if I have to and will do everything in my power to do everything I can to make sure our child turns out NOTHING like you." Okay... WTF. This asshole who has NEVER been to ANY IEP, or conference or anything now all of a sudden cares? I assume this now has to do with I didn't want him back after his attempt to come back once I was single again?
This man. This man (I don't think he is a man). is enough to make me throw up. Who says such things? Who can say such things about someone. Someone who he just as recently claimed to love always. And I don't care about the BS because he hurts or wants me back, I'm sick of hearing that, You just don't say crap like that to someone. I am seriously appalled at the lack of class of some people. The lack of grace and the lack of appeal or consideration for others feelings. I make a point of never telling our child bad things about her father. My goodness, I wouldn't want Ashlee to inherit some of his ways but I wouldn't tell him that. I don't know, I'm just floored at the audacity of some people. Guess I'm lucky he's my ex. Only 6 more years right?

Any Help?

I've worked on a children's book for a long time. Years actually. I finished the book now, and have it almost edited. However... I am looking on "What to do next?" I'm not sure If I should send it off? Publish it myself? (Like 500 bucks I'm researching?) Has any bloggers out there been published? Has anyone sent anything out? Any recommendations? I'd appreciate any advice links, suggestions? Thank YOU!

P.S. This is a Jr. High Level-Fiction Book Chapter Book

Thursday, March 5, 2009

And How are you today?

I saw this documentary about how the average person lies, or more like "fibs" up to like at the least 50 times daily. I'm real big on lies. I'm even more real big on lies since I am the Mother to the new liar in the house. By real big I mean, I can't stand it. It bothers me. I really want to beat some ass when someone lies. (Ask Ash). So... This episode(sorry I have NO clue what it was on) somewhere on T.V. which I never watch because I will so get sucked into every thing in the world and not accomplish anything. (Does your kid have a game boy? YEP, THAT sucked into it). So anyway, they were counting mundane things, like when someone random says "Hi How are you?" Most say "Fine. Especially to a stranger or someone who doesn't really care how you are and of course is just being polite and expects you to say "Fine." Usually followed by a Good, or Fine, and How are you?" Followed by the same yadda yadda. Well, this is the sorts of things that this episode called fibs. Which is true. I was thinking... I should really stop fibbing and just let it out. Right? Maybe I'll be happy or at the least people I don't really care about will not speak to me anyways.
How about... "How are you?" Well... School is too hard, it sucked I quit. Bills are annoying me, Ashlee is Pre-teen and driving me insane daily, I'm sick of my hair since I had to attempt to get black out of it, now it's dead and I don't wish to cut it, yet it needs cut because it's dead. My parents are probably the reason for my issues i have to deal with daily. I am confused as to how my kid exists since looking at my ex makes me want to throw up a little bit in my mouth and the idea of actually ever having had sex with IT is beyond my comprehension.
So? I think I'll start being truthful. Think I'll scare anyone? Really though, if we stop and think how often DO we fib?

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I am Back!

Okay... I am Internet addicted. I tried VERY hard to keep updated via cell phone (Via small screen with constant readings of "Page to Large to Display"). This will be a short blog update on me and my damn drama. THEN it will be back to the usual normal kinda CRAZY drama life minus the bad drama. I know... HUH? Anyhow...

I have my laptop back. YAY! I have dropped put of school for this semester. I am working more hours at work starting next week. I added MORE drama. But, I'm dealing.

The boyfriend thing... Well, I'm not too shameless to admit that I was and am still yet less highly stressed out. Raising Ashlee, who has special needs. Needs another surgery coming up and NO answers has taken it's toll. Two, dealing with her Dad which is a pain in the ass. And school, which I am horrible let's rephrase that HORRIBLE at Math and Chemistry specifically Advanced Organic Biochemistry. I had to STOP some things.

I don't have a problem with working. I need it. I need the break, and I enjoy making my own money. I can adequately support myself. I do have an issue with being alone, however, I have an issue with opening up and letting anyone help. (hence... ISSUES with my non-committal jealous of me, verbally abusive parents that I have). And yes, Jealous. After hearing of how I have more than they did at my age, how I was the girl that my Mother despised in high school etc etc). I realize I have issues which probably have a lot to do with them, and my EX. But that's OK.

On top of all of that, I had my health insurance cancelled. Hence paying Out of pocket lately which was killing me. SO... I took it out on a lot of people.

The boyfriend and I, are speaking, and working things out. Crying on my door step, selling his car to give me money, refusing to leave me and this as he knows it's right, and refusing to let me deal with all of this on my own.

I've had my bills paid, have had a week off work, and a break from school. I haven't done laundry or cooked or cleaned ANYTHING. He has done it all. From helping me try to find a counselor to work out my "I wont let anyone help me saga" etc etc. Nope, it isn't all FIXED, but working on it, and I have felt much better. In the scheme of things, my ex-husband (Ashlee's Dad) decided that THIS was the opportunity to "get back together" and is now damn drama King once I said Umm no. However, I haven't responded to his calls, his Voice mail, his rudeness, or his stupid comments. (Which is so not me, normally, I don;t do well with confrontation and WILL prove my argument or point.) Which i realized is what he thrives on. But, I'm SO DONE with that. On top of that, the day My boyfriend moved out I got a SEVERE gas leak in the house, and called the landlord to tell him, the gas company was on the way. He of course asked about the boyfriend, (He's the maintenance man here). And I told him he moved. Well, upon returning to here, the landlord in no certain terms, asked me out, wanted to discuss my "rent" and noted that his "situation" (ig: MARRIED) was an issue to not do this this weekend, as his wifey was out of town. Yeah, OKAY. I'm 31, and he's like 60. Two, WHAT IN THE HELL GAVE THIS MAN ANY CLUE OR SUGGESTION THAT I WAS THAT KIND OF PERSON, OR NEEDED "HELP" PAYING MY BILLS?" Well, the boyfriend dealt with that and pretty much since I didn't wish to be upended on my ass in the streets or deal with court drama, he called him back, and is DEALING with all apartment related issues to him. I'm not sure how to deal with the creepy ass hole, or what to say at this point, but he's real damn scared I told the boyfriend, and hasn't called me since. Any ideas?

So, I;'m back, more relaxed and dealing as usual. I missed you all, and have ALOT of catching up to do!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Fun Stuff

So, from my previous post, all know how "lovely" my life is at the moment. I spent a great deal of "deep" conversation with my daughter on the way to school. I promised myself when I left her Dad, that there would be no more arguing, no drama. She hates it, and I hate it although, one couldn't tell that from looking at me.
We had a nice long conversation about "Independence". What it was and why it wasn't a bad thing. I told a child of why this man I let come into our lives was leaving. I told her expenses and amounts of money I paid. I asked her blatant questions like"Who works?, Who cleans? Who goes to school?" And just for shits and giggles... "Who do you see do all of this, and what does he do?" She in all her 12 year old glory had the same answers. She saw it. She was upset. I told her of her namesake. Her Great Grandmother and how she was beaten and how she survived on her own. She was appalled. I told her how she would get her own car, and have money in the bank, and not suffer or wonder how to pay her bills. Because Mom taught her how to be in dependant. I told her how I was told that was bad. And I told her how it wasn't. I told her it was her and I now (again). I told her how I wasn't doing this again. How, this is US and how it will be. And her words of wisdom was... "I knew something was wrong with him anyways."

I don't know when I'll be back on on a regular basis, as my laptop and only computer at home is leaving today. After all, I didn't buy it, it was a gift. Although, I have contributed and lost thousands, It's not an argument I wish to ensue, and I will get another one. It's better that I do, than keep the other stuff with it.

I have a house, and all furnishings with it. I have a car, and I have my baby. I need nothing more. I will update when I can, and am sad to only do this "at school" since this is totally my venting place. But... What can you do. Live and learn. AND I HAVE LEARNED!

Signing off for now...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Dear Boyfriend...

Dear Boyfriend,

When we met I thought it was very sweet how you mailed me 20 bottles of my favorite body spray they stopped making here. It was extra sweet when speaking of favorite books how I mentioned i had almost all of the collection from my favorite author, and you mailed me the ones I was missing, brand-new in hard cover with a note inside each one. I thought it was really sweet how you moved 4 states to be with me. I was very impressed when we let our daughter's meet and how you took us out to dinner, Chuck-E-Cheese, parks, go-carting, the mall, and bought them everything they desired. I enjoyed the eating dinner out for a week, and the roses. It was nice to have my gas pumped and paid for for like a week or two. The movies were nice, and so were the having my drink in your car for me when you picked me up.
I was flattered that you remembered everything about me, when we used to be friend's 8 years ago. I thought it was sweet how you had a crush on me then, and still do apparently, although I had just broke up with my boyfriend, and hated men and told you to get lost. I enjoyed the every morning Emails, and your daily note of... "You're the most beautiful, smart, and funny woman i know".

8 months later....

I am glad you moved in. Combining a teenager and a new boyfriend is easy shit. I'm also thankful for the two times you've walked out saying you can't do this because of her. I'm also glad i acted like a blubbering idiot and asked you to stay.

I love it when you think I'm still after my ex husband because we speak of my (OUR) daughter. That thrills me.

I love how I was so understanding of your lawsuit from being injured. Now, it's less than two weeks, after the FINAL date last month of the 30 days to settle portion of it. I love how you get mad when i tell you I don't count money i don't have when you speak of the new car you will buy me when this is done.

I'm happy to know that the money you had for those few weeks spoiling us rotten was all you had.

I'm also thrilled that you have a serious addiction to something most of us quit in high school.

I'm happy that you're food stamps of 170 bucks pays for all the groceries here all month. I of course never count the "We're out of this" messages constantly i get.

I'm glad I got an apartment where the landlord takes all utilities off rent if you mow the lawn, trash and stuff. Too bad he's in Florida since I moved, and I am still paying all that. Too bad, I have to ask you or remind you to do those things.

I was thrilled when you told your Mom that you were thinking of "taking a break" from your online college classes. I think it's Okay for you to do nothing all day.

I think it's way fair that I work, clean, and go to school Full time. I am never mad that you don;t do the laundry i despise, or that the dishes are still in the sink from last night even though you've been home all day. I love dishes after work. I love it even more when I have homework and kid's homework.

I love the salt bag I bought and had to announce I was doing it myself today so I didn't bust my ass outside, since it was there for 2 days. I thought maybe the maintenance man was going to salt. I hear they get 300 bux off rent for doing that...

I love watching you cram homework in due at 2 am at midnight. Since you had so much else to do during the day.

I love how you mentioned that after this month you were thinking of a part-time job at the local hardware store. (I'm sure they pay 7/hr). Because you had school and mowing to do come spring. I'm sure I made my point clear when I didnt answer and just looked at you.

I am truly blessed! And to think I was angry because "I was told I was too independent".

Shit is hitting the fan tonight. I think I will need a maid in the morning.


I just am so happy I can't stand myself.

Monday, February 16, 2009

My First Tag.....

I’ve been tagged by for a Q and A... So here are the rules...

Step 1: respond and rework -- answer the questions on your own blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, add one more question of your own.

Step 2: tag - eight other un-tagged people

1) What are you wearing right now? HaHa! Pink VS sweats, and a grey Old Navy sweat shirt... I'm a diva in the morning! And yes... I drove my lovely daughter to school like this.

2) What is your biggest fear? FAILURE. I usually don't, however it's that constant fear that I will just fall off the earth or something... Someone may one day just say... "You're done, you're just not capable of handling anything." Come to think of it though... Is that a bad thing? No responsibilities Hmmm.

3) Do you nap a lot? NAP? What is that? so, I'm gonna go with NO!

4) Who is the last person you hugged? Umm, I think my boyfriend.

5) What websites to you visit when you go online? Blogger, Myspace, and My school site.

6) What was the last item you bought? Salt. You know the 5.00 bag of crap so I don't bust my ass on the ice stuff.

7) What is the last thing you ate? I had toasted peanut butter and jelly. It's my fast morning meal often.

8) If you woke up tomorrow and were a boy, what is the first thing you would do and why? Oh man... I would totally pee outside and manage to not pee on myself! Because, well it's a luxury I don't have and want!

9) Has a celebrity's hair cut ever influenced your own hairstyle? I once tried for the Hope Brady look from "Days of Our Lives" soap opera. And... NO I looked nothing like her at all!

10) What is your most embarrassing moment? 7th grade... Sitting in business class, standing up with my awesome white jeans with a lovely red spot on the butt. Luckily my friend sat behind me to warn me, and then followed me REAL close to gym class so I could wear my shorts to the office to call home.

11) What was the last movie you watched? I almost watched "Fred Claus". I love Vince Vaughn, however I am the worse movie watcher ever. I always Fall asleep!

12) If you had a whole day to yourself with no work, commitments, or interruptions what would you do? Yes! Well... I'd sleep in, til probably like 3 o'clock. I'd eat ALL day, and I'd read. See.. I don't ask for much here...

13) What is one indulgence that you cannot live without? Oh... My Orange Gatorade. I am obsessed with the stuff. I have enough "electrolytes" for everyone in bloggy land. AND enough sugar as well!

Okay... 8 to tag it is!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Did you ever wanna....QUIT

Okay, so I'm having a moment. Well, maybe a lot of moments lately. Here's the deal, and yep it's going to make me look bad. I'm really not a bad Mom, but, I have my moments. Here's the confession... My kiddo drives me insane. Yep, totally absolutely INSANE. I love her to death but, i don't like her very much. Yep, that's bad huh. How can someone come from ME, be part of ME and act nothing like me. I am NOT absolutely NOT looking forward to the teens. Ashlee is almost 12. 6th grade, Jr. High. She reminds me CONSTANTLY that she's "almost" a teenager.

"Why do I have to go to bed at 8:30, I'm almost a teenager MOM!" (Because you're the worst morning person EVER, and you're 11 hours of sleep is NEEDED for us to not kill each other in the morning).

"Why do you "check" my breath to see if I brushed?" (Because you constantly brush sans toothpaste. Remember the abscess last year? Yep... that's WHY. And WHY would be the big question of why your breath smells like dinner STILL).

"How do you know what homework I have?" (Because I know it ALL. note* Your teacher and I are like BFF now, not because I like to hang out with her or anything though).

'Why Do I have to write sentences for you when I act up?" Because maybe you'll learn. (because you HATE sentences, and it's quiet punishment for me!).

I'm sick of the attitude, the rolling of the eyes, the stomping, arguing, and DRAMA. I hope she's an actress soon... Why else must I endure this crap every day of my life. She is the most dramatic person i know. Last night's conversation...

Her great Grandpa passed away as he never woke-up from surgery. The funeral is Friday. She is missing school Friday to go to the funeral etc a couple hours from here with her Dad. (Dad's family). I wrote a note to get her work she'll miss, and also..(Ashlee is 50 pounds and 3 foot tall. She can't carry all her books. I have most books here as doubles so 1.) she don't carry them. 2.) "I can't do my homework I forgot my book, is VOID now.)
Anyway, she thought I had a Social studies book. (The one I DON'T have) and didn't do her homework worksheet crap. I wrote a note, she can do it tomorrow night (last night). So we get home, gets the homework out.. Ash, Where's your worksheet? "What worksheet?" "The one you had yesterday that NOW I have the book for." " I don't know." (Am I the only one that wishes to THROW this phrase out of every one's vocab?). "Okay, you had it yesterday." "Yes." "And everyone turned those in as it was homework, except you have an awesome Mom who excused you to be late, so you didn't." "Right." ( note... I was asked, "You need to write a note remember like 10 times that morning.") "OK, so where'd it go?" "......." " Did you throw it away?" "No." "Did it jump out of your bag?" "No Mom." "Okay... WHERE IS IT?" "......." " Ashlee, tell me Did you throw it away?" "No." Okay, let me give you a visual. Standing there in front of me shifting foot to foot, not looking at me." LIAR LIAR. "I may have accidentally thrown it away, I cleaned out my bag." "Okay, so I have tests to sign, drawings, homework, papers back, but THAT was thrown away ONLY." "Well, it was due today, and I didn't have it." "I wrote you a note remember, cause you made SURE I did." So, I told her now I have to go IN your school to get a new one. Now I have to look stupid for writing a note that you threw away your extra opportunity. NOW, I'm so mean... I hate her, and I'm just a "kid" I don't know how to act. (This is when i wanted to say a kid? I thought you were a TEEN." So her life is miserable, and she is stressed out because I make her do homework and I check." My favorite part... "Can't you see I'm upset? Do you even care your only child is crying?" And the Oscar tonight goes to Ashlee!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Too Independant? WTF?!

K... So, Warning I'm going to bitch. Hell, I may just have a bitch fest. Right here. I may lose my 2 followers. I am woman after all, so I have that right right? Pull up a chair. Grab a drink and listen, just nod along if you get it. Or, just ignore me. Anyways...

Let me sum it up for you. I'm a single Mom to an 11 yr old. I work, I go to school. I just recently moved in with my boyfriend. I'm trying this life of meshing a kid with a new guy. I know you know how this goes. BUT. BUT. Since when is being independent bad? I pay my own bills. I raise my daughter, besides the weekend "fun-parent". I have a dry-erase board with daily agendas and allowance "points". This works for me. Ash is severe ADHD, and special needs. We thrive this way. It works for us. Is this bad? Maybe I should sum this up.

Ash is a lot to handle. I deal with it. One, she is my kid. 2) I am Mom. Therefore I don't have that choice but to deal with it. Well, I guess I do, however, I'm NOT that leave a baby in your trash kinda Mom. 3) I love her. I want to be married. I want the career, home-life, no struggles kinda life. I was married. I was the marry your high school sweetheart. How sweet huh. Umm NO. Party party party. Ooops your pregnant. Ooops you live in a trailer park and are trying to be the only non-white trash people in this hick town. Ooops, you bust your ass in college at 24 and get a really good job. Ooops, hubby has no direction, delivers pizza and is content. Ooops your SO NOT. Crazy hours, no sleep , figuring out college is hard as hell, and Mom ain't paying my rent. Yep, I do it alone, and I hate it, but... It's my choice. I could sit home. I could have babies and babies and babies and live off the state. Nope, I'm working. I'm going to school. Yep, my bills are paid. Yep, I am CRAZY busy. Then I get a boyfriend. Then I deal with Ashlee. Then I move him in. Now, I have more craziness. But... WHO says your too independent? For months, I mean months. I was told you and baby daddy (who I'll now refer to BD) needs to "get along". So... we got along. AFTER new boyfriend decides to adventure to BD's work to tell him to calm down, stop his BS and grow-up. NOW, "Maybe i should go back to him". Now, maybe I should not be so nice. Now, maybe i should talk to bF more than BD. Really? How many times does one need to say I paid 1500 to Get out. First you want me to get along. Now, I am too nice? Then, I don't open up. I work, i go to school. I'm fucking stressed. I'm simple. I don't need any other big words to describe it here. But, I'm shutting him out. (BF that is). I'm too independent. Who complains of that? Oh no, Mom has her shit together. That's bad. Let me add some examples...

1). BD's grandpa ( Ashlee's Gpa note* is in the hospital). Ashlee was left here this weekend instead of going to Dad's. Gpa is in a coma, and is on life support where there waiting to pull the plug. I was awaiting updates. I called BD and asked after not hearing from him last night. BF, is thinking... Why are you checking in with him. Ummm.... really?

2.) BF gets some art projects to do. (read here... Amy IS NOT crafty. Whatever gene that is MISSED me). I didn't try to put a 88393030 piece puzzle model together with Ash and BF, because I suck. Therefore, I didn't care to try and have family time.

3.) It's Saturday. There's dishes in the sink 2 days. 2 loads of laundry. There's a broken TV sitting for 2 weeks behind my couch. There's kitchen deco falling down in my kitchen with a brand new tube of liquid nails to fix it beside it. BF, is going to go fix his friend's wall. I don't give a shit about his friend's wall. I give a shit about MY wall. I'm now mad. Now, I know your going well... yeah, obviously. Let me say why the ABOVE is here. Because, I am too independent and should let it sit, because I do everything and if i left it there he'd do it. (That's why it's like that right?) 2 days, and me driven insane with my need to have it done, because He's gonna do it. BUT, his friend's wall has to be done. WHY AM I MAD? A better question is why are you even asking me that? Do I need to explain why I am mad that you are leaving to fix a wall? REALLY? Fast forward... the dishes and laundry are done. He stayed home. I did the dishes and laundry. Damn, I must still be independent.

I don't understand men. I am simple. Why is this so complicated?

Thursday, February 5, 2009


So... We needed a new bed. Someone told me to go to IKEA. Yeah. I like warehouses. I like Cosco, Sam's club etc. HOWEVER... What IS this place? We walk in ( With a it's almost dinner time, hyper child). The "Greeter" stood there smiling. "You've never been here?" OH..... She proceeds with the map and little Putt-Putt golf pencil. I'm adverting my attention wondering how badly DH now regrets admitting that were IKEA virgins. You know those REALLY happy morning people you run into every once in awhile, the ones you wish to slap. Yep that's the IKEA greeter at 6pm. She gives a run down of how to shop, what to write down, where to eat... how to find something, and even how every little thing is in it's own little box. Besides the freaky TV show-like house sets except everything is branded with a price tag, there is literally a million of everything. Spatulas to Wine coolers. EVERYTHING. I can't even find a bed. I am literally confused as to what price tag is to what. I gave up on the bed. Your blocked in. There are rooms, and halls, and walls. You can't leave. It's like a deco maze. At this point Ash is yelling, touching everything and has became the sole navigator in leading us out of IKEA hell. "Get ready to say , Thank You Ash for getting us out!" After 20 more minutes of following Ash... (not to mention WHY are we agreeing to follow Ash as if she knows how to leave ) Ash finds that she has navigated the snack bar with the damn cinnamon rolls in which the happy greeter informed an 11 year old of at the beginning. (Who does this? She obviousally has no children) We end up finally at the "start" with the smiling greeter, who my DH hands back the map and little pencil. "Oh, you just loved it didn't you?" "No, I got lost, I have a headache and we are NOT coming back toting a child AGAIN;" She of course smiled. (I'm thinking... these people locked her in this damn place, and she's delirious with happiness perhaps? I dunno).

Long story short... We went to a small mattress store today, and bought a bed. Easy. Done. And IKEA can now rank right up there with Walmart in my book.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Groundhog day

What's with groundhog day? Someone drags a hibernating furry animal out of his hole to wake him up in front of a million people to see if he sees his shadow. Now... for one, this does not work. Two, I am not getting out of bed to go see a animal dug out of his home. Here's some ideas of mine which may make some since or none? I don't know but, it's my blog right?

1. I think we should all gather on these "handlers" yard and wake them. Just yell "SORRY just wanted to know the weather!"

2. I think "Phil" should move. Wouldn't that be funny. Dig him up and he's not there.

3. I think "Phil" should bite. I would find it amusing to see these men dressed in their top hats just get viciously attacked by Phil. If I were a groundhog, I'd be ticked off you woke me up. Not only woke me up, but in front of millions of people.

Now... Who are these people who wait in line to see this event? Do you? Please let me know, and while you at it let me know WHY? WHY do you wake-up to disturb a animal? Why is this on your ideas of fun? I really want to know how you come to the conclusion of, I think I'll get up at the crack of dawn to watch a groundhog. When the sun shone through your window this morning did you have a shadow? If so... that should be enough. But, hey maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps there is some deep rooted enjoyment I'm missing. After all, all I got was house duties to do today. I saw the frost on my car windows and the cat hair in the sun beams. Why do i need a groundhog?