Go do some Fishful Thinking....

The wonderful people at Pepperidge Farms (The Goldfish People!) have came up with a WONDERFUL idea to inspire and help create positive thinking in children. Go check out their new program here to find activities, quizes, products and much more for ways to inspire your children! Ashlee is easily frusterated. Given her social issues and attention span (non- existance!) we have MANY talks of how to be a kind, curteous person, and how to try to make and keep friendships. Since the day Ashlee was born, I never "labled" her as being special or having a disability. There was never anything that I thought she couldn't do, and never once did I let anyone tell me that she couldn't or try and give her "special circumstances" to attain anything. I think that alone makes Ashlee who she is today. The strong willed, little diva that if you ask will tell you that she is the most beautiful girl in the world. Gee.. Don't you agree? LOL. Fishful Thinking

One of my favorite bloggies is lucky enough to be a faculty member of this wonderful program. She is currently doing a give-a-way which includes lots of "fishy swag" up for grabs. Go check her out! You won't be dissapointed! The Daily Blonde

Where Did My Mind Go?

It's Friday. It's the first day of Spring. It's 19 degrees. Not 60 or 70 like it has been. Why? IS. THAT. I made coffee. Got to sleep in. YAY. Since it's records day or something and Ash doesn't have school. I'm sitting here wondering one, if I can keep coffee down. (More on that in a bit) and two, Where is my mind? I am good busy. I enjoy busy. WHY can't I remember anything anymore. Here I am writing a "list" of what I need to do today. And... I keep adding the "Oh yeah.. I have that too's... I never used to make lists. There is nothing fun on my list either. ....Sigh.... I haven't posted much because I have been sick. It kind of felt bladder infection-like but with stomach issues. I can't eat anything. Then I had to pee ALL the time, so I sucked it up and went to the doctor. Yep, had a bladder infection. The doctor made sure to tell me my "other issues" were not related and to call if not better before my next weeks appointment. Well... I called, and now I'm going for an ultrasound of my gall bladder. (What is with my bladders?) I did some research on gall bladders and yeah... Seems I've had gall bladder symptoms for awhile and I just thought I was getting old or something, who knew? Now they're talking ultrasounds and possible surgery huh? Yeah, THAT'S what I need. Then I have a wisdom tooth that's came in without ANY wisdom mind you, whose leaving today at 2:00. Yeah, Buh-bye. FUN-STUFF! On to the bank which my other (Don't get me into what a STUPID bank school appoints to handle my loans has who deposited a refund to my account a month ago which I in return wrote a check into my other account to take said refund out and then spent on bills and they decided I DIDN'T get that refund so TOOK BACK the deposit therefore listed the check as UNCLEARED causing my MAIN account at my other bank to bounce 700 dollars STUPID) I have to talk to. Yeah... And What are they going to do? Umm Me... They took it back? Umm I don't have 700 dollars? That was a month ago? YOU cleared it? Do you make payments? HaHa! Then I get to go to Walgreen's whom I paid out-of-pocket Ashlee's medicine costs that insurance said I didn't have coverage for when I did in Feb, who Say's they don't reimburse after 7 days, and whose insurance says it's the pharmacy who has to bill, and I have to go ARGUE with them again. SOMEONE will pay me back the 160.00 damn it. Then I get to call Chicago who called my EX (WHY?) to notify that Ashlee's appointment Thursday was cancelled cause the Doctor's office was closed that day. (THEY made that appointment don't they know that?) And re-schedule. Like I live in MI and Chicago appointments are EASY to just up and go to and change around. Then I get to take Ashlee to the library to research Chile for a report due the 30Th. (Hey I still have 10 days, I'm not procrastinating THAT much). SO That is MY fun time! Besides the fact that I will maybe having surgery. Have no clue how I will manage THAT and rent etc and a bad account now. AND everything else. Oh well, stress is nice eh?
On a second(Or 100Th note... I lost count...) Ashlee had her conference which I didn't go to but Dad did, she is getting mostly C's, but they wanted to reassure me that this was with her working more independently. (This after them telling me a bunch of B's last week?) and her Dad asking me to meet him at 4:30 instead of 4:45 to discuss her conference in which he showed up at 4:40. (Why do I listen?) In which he explained the grades and her upcoming IEP like I didn't know, then asks if I had any questions or concerns for him? WTF? Umm No. WHO IS THIS IDIOT? Does he really think I have NO CLUE what is going on. Or when he told me the teacher said she told you about the IEP and the records thing and who you could talk to, that I was just blowing smoke when I told the moron "I said I handled it." Send the man to ONE conference now he's Super Dad......Sigh.... Go ahead Hotstuff wear your cape today LOL!

Giveaways in the form of alcohol...Who could ask for more?

Miss Snow White over at http://snowwhiteplus76.blogspot.com/ is giving away an awesome giveaway of alcohol! And from my hometown no less! No tagging here, participate if you wish! Here's the deal... List 7 random facts about yourself. That's it! Oh, and of course link back to Miss Snow. Oh and check out her blog, she's an awesome hilarious teacher who has a load of stories to tell! So check her out! Now here's my useless facts....

1. I have a serious cleaning problem. I clean when I'm pissed off, when I'm stressed, and when I'm happy as well. Needless to say I have a clean house.

2. I read a lot. On average about 3 books a week. Besides that I read blogs, magazines, and anything else. Not as much homework as I should though.

3. I turn up the radio really loud and sing to it just as loud driving down the dirt roads when I'm alone. Usually In the mornings on my way home from dropping Ash off at school. This is my "ME" time to yell and scream!

4. I really am not happy with how my life is going at the moment and am trying to figure it out!

5. I'm a bit obsessed with feeding birds. It started out as a feeder now I have 4 for specific breeds. Sigh.

6. I wish all those "things happen for a reason" would reason up all ready!

7. I wish I would have finished college earlier in life.

Okay! Your turn! Thanks Snow! And as you see I need a little alcohol in my life! And the free the better! LOL

Damn CIA Shows

So, Since these shows have been on air... I have came to the conclusion that I could never get away with killing my ex-husband. NOT that I was thinking about ever attempting to. No, Never Not me. Some people make you think of it however. Sometimes, I wonder why I wasn't blessed with those evil genes that do awful things to people and then have no remorse about it afterwards. BUT I do not have those genes.

I've had HUGE issues with Ash's school. Ashlee has severe ADHD. Ashlee was born missing a part of her brain, requires medication to attain attention, is delayed in maturity, doesn't understand social cues, and is the most disorganized child on this planet. She also is highly intelligent, very tiny, and in mainstream classes with an IEP for extra guidance. She requires reminders, and some extra help. (Do you have your homework, Can you carry your books? She's 4 foot and 45 pounds at 12.). I have received a truancy letter. My straight A student gets C's now. All since going to Jr. High. Now I moved in January. Same district. I'm not getting mail. No report card etc. I filled out the "change of address form". Apparently my checkbook, drivers license, insurance state papers etc, is NOT enough for the school to change the address. They need a lease copy, which I don't have which my pervert landlord has in Florida which I'm waiting for to fax over to said school. Until then they will NOT give me Ashlee's report card etc.
I've went to the counselor's office to discuss the truancy letter since I drop the kid off daily. (Where is she right?) and they had her marked absent on snow days too? WTF. And days she was there. (There's a daily agenda the teacher and I sign. So that was handled. Well... I need a bus to pick Ashlee up. My work schedule changed to 6am. I have someone to put her on a bus but not drive her. I can't have a bus without a address. Hence, I am off work now until the school gets a clue. UGH. Besides all this, Ash's agenda says 3 stamps... 'Homework not turned in". Well... They got a nice letter from Mom. About their lack of ability, IEP following, joke of a school, policies, and the likes. Needless to say I was met at pick up time with ALL teacher's with HUGE apologies and grades. Still no addy change though.
Mind you, during this drama, I informed her dad of this whose comment was .... None. Or "what do you want me to do?" Okay. So, at my last straw I said I'm yanking her out, she will NOT go here anymore. After a HUGE argument between us he gets an attitude. I get a call which says...

"I will not let you decide our child's education. Our child will not be educated by you as you are not capable of doing that. I will take you to court if I have to and will do everything in my power to do everything I can to make sure our child turns out NOTHING like you." Okay... WTF. This asshole who has NEVER been to ANY IEP, or conference or anything now all of a sudden cares? I assume this now has to do with I didn't want him back after his attempt to come back once I was single again?
This man. This man (I don't think he is a man). is enough to make me throw up. Who says such things? Who can say such things about someone. Someone who he just as recently claimed to love always. And I don't care about the BS because he hurts or wants me back, I'm sick of hearing that, You just don't say crap like that to someone. I am seriously appalled at the lack of class of some people. The lack of grace and the lack of appeal or consideration for others feelings. I make a point of never telling our child bad things about her father. My goodness, I wouldn't want Ashlee to inherit some of his ways but I wouldn't tell him that. I don't know, I'm just floored at the audacity of some people. Guess I'm lucky he's my ex. Only 6 more years right?

Any Help?

I've worked on a children's book for a long time. Years actually. I finished the book now, and have it almost edited. However... I am looking on "What to do next?" I'm not sure If I should send it off? Publish it myself? (Like 500 bucks I'm researching?) Has any bloggers out there been published? Has anyone sent anything out? Any recommendations? I'd appreciate any advice links, suggestions? Thank YOU!
Amy!

P.S. This is a Jr. High Level-Fiction Book Chapter Book

And How are you today?

I saw this documentary about how the average person lies, or more like "fibs" up to like at the least 50 times daily. I'm real big on lies. I'm even more real big on lies since I am the Mother to the new liar in the house. By real big I mean, I can't stand it. It bothers me. I really want to beat some ass when someone lies. (Ask Ash). So... This episode(sorry I have NO clue what it was on) somewhere on T.V. which I never watch because I will so get sucked into every thing in the world and not accomplish anything. (Does your kid have a game boy? YEP, THAT sucked into it). So anyway, they were counting mundane things, like when someone random says "Hi How are you?" Most say "Fine. Especially to a stranger or someone who doesn't really care how you are and of course is just being polite and expects you to say "Fine." Usually followed by a Good, or Fine, and How are you?" Followed by the same yadda yadda. Well, this is the sorts of things that this episode called fibs. Which is true. I was thinking... I should really stop fibbing and just let it out. Right? Maybe I'll be happy or at the least people I don't really care about will not speak to me anyways.
How about... "How are you?" Well... School is too hard, it sucked I quit. Bills are annoying me, Ashlee is Pre-teen and driving me insane daily, I'm sick of my hair since I had to attempt to get black out of it, now it's dead and I don't wish to cut it, yet it needs cut because it's dead. My parents are probably the reason for my issues i have to deal with daily. I am confused as to how my kid exists since looking at my ex makes me want to throw up a little bit in my mouth and the idea of actually ever having had sex with IT is beyond my comprehension.
So? I think I'll start being truthful. Think I'll scare anyone? Really though, if we stop and think how often DO we fib?

I am Back!

Okay... I am Internet addicted. I tried VERY hard to keep updated via cell phone (Via small screen with constant readings of "Page to Large to Display"). This will be a short blog update on me and my damn drama. THEN it will be back to the usual normal kinda CRAZY drama life minus the bad drama. I know... HUH? Anyhow...

I have my laptop back. YAY! I have dropped put of school for this semester. I am working more hours at work starting next week. I added MORE drama. But, I'm dealing.

The boyfriend thing... Well, I'm not too shameless to admit that I was and am still yet less highly stressed out. Raising Ashlee, who has special needs. Needs another surgery coming up and NO answers has taken it's toll. Two, dealing with her Dad which is a pain in the ass. And school, which I am horrible let's rephrase that HORRIBLE at Math and Chemistry specifically Advanced Organic Biochemistry. I had to STOP some things.

I don't have a problem with working. I need it. I need the break, and I enjoy making my own money. I can adequately support myself. I do have an issue with being alone, however, I have an issue with opening up and letting anyone help. (hence... ISSUES with my non-committal jealous of me, verbally abusive parents that I have). And yes, Jealous. After hearing of how I have more than they did at my age, how I was the girl that my Mother despised in high school etc etc). I realize I have issues which probably have a lot to do with them, and my EX. But that's OK.

On top of all of that, I had my health insurance cancelled. Hence paying Out of pocket lately which was killing me. SO... I took it out on a lot of people.

The boyfriend and I, are speaking, and working things out. Crying on my door step, selling his car to give me money, refusing to leave me and this as he knows it's right, and refusing to let me deal with all of this on my own.

I've had my bills paid, have had a week off work, and a break from school. I haven't done laundry or cooked or cleaned ANYTHING. He has done it all. From helping me try to find a counselor to work out my "I wont let anyone help me saga" etc etc. Nope, it isn't all FIXED, but working on it, and I have felt much better. In the scheme of things, my ex-husband (Ashlee's Dad) decided that THIS was the opportunity to "get back together" and is now damn drama King once I said Umm no. However, I haven't responded to his calls, his Voice mail, his rudeness, or his stupid comments. (Which is so not me, normally, I don;t do well with confrontation and WILL prove my argument or point.) Which i realized is what he thrives on. But, I'm SO DONE with that. On top of that, the day My boyfriend moved out I got a SEVERE gas leak in the house, and called the landlord to tell him, the gas company was on the way. He of course asked about the boyfriend, (He's the maintenance man here). And I told him he moved. Well, upon returning to here, the landlord in no certain terms, asked me out, wanted to discuss my "rent" and noted that his "situation" (ig: MARRIED) was an issue to not do this this weekend, as his wifey was out of town. Yeah, OKAY. I'm 31, and he's like 60. Two, WHAT IN THE HELL GAVE THIS MAN ANY CLUE OR SUGGESTION THAT I WAS THAT KIND OF PERSON, OR NEEDED "HELP" PAYING MY BILLS?" Well, the boyfriend dealt with that and pretty much since I didn't wish to be upended on my ass in the streets or deal with court drama, he called him back, and is DEALING with all apartment related issues to him. I'm not sure how to deal with the creepy ass hole, or what to say at this point, but he's real damn scared I told the boyfriend, and hasn't called me since. Any ideas?

So, I;'m back, more relaxed and dealing as usual. I missed you all, and have ALOT of catching up to do!